At the core of Islamic teachings on relationships is the idea that true faith requires loving and hating solely based on Allah’s commands. This isn’t about personal feelings but a mandated emotional and social alignment that places religious loyalty above all human bonds.

Consider Sahih Bukhari 15, where the Prophet Muhammad states: “None of you will have faith till he loves me more than his father, his children and all mankind.” This Hadith sets a high bar, implying that devotion to the Prophet supersedes even the most intimate family ties. Extending this, Abu Dawud 4681 (graded Sahih) declares: “If anyone loves for Allah’s sake, hates for Allah’s sake, gives for Allah’s sake and withholds for Allah’s sake, he will have perfect faith.” Similarly, Tirmidhi 2521 echoes: “Whoever gives for the sake of Allah, withholds for the sake of Allah, loves for the sake of Allah, hates for the sake of Allah, and marries for the sake of Allah, he has indeed perfected his faith.”

The Quran reinforces this with verses like 8:55, which labels disbelievers as “the worst of moving (living) creatures before Allah,” and 3:32: “Allah loveth not those who reject Faith.” Scholars at Islam Q&A, in Fatwa No. 178354, elaborate: “Allah, may He be exalted, has instructed His believing slaves to love one another and to take one another as friends, and He has instructed them to hate His enemies and regard them with enmity for the sake of Allah. He has stated that friendship can only be among the believers and enmity is to be between them and the kaafirs (disbelievers); disavowing them is one of the basic principles of their faith and is part of perfecting their religious commitment.”

Critically, this principle turns faith into a tool of exclusion. By tying “perfect faith” to hating disbelievers, Islam encourages Muslims to view non-believers not as equals worthy of empathy, but as objects of divine disdain. In a multicultural society, this breeds suspicion and isolation, contradicting modern ideals of universal human rights and mutual respect. It’s a recipe for social fragmentation, where personal relationships are policed by religious dogma.

Forbidden Friendships: No True Allies Among Disbelievers

Islamic texts go further, explicitly prohibiting deep friendships or alliances with non-Muslims, framing such bonds as a betrayal of faith.

Quran 5:57 warns: “Take not for friends and protectors those who take your religion for a mockery or sport, whether among those who received the Scripture before you (Jews and Christians), or among those who reject Faith; but fear ye Allah, if ye have faith (indeed).” The Tafsir of Quran 2:11 by Ibn Kathir explains that hypocrites (nominal Muslims) cause mischief by aiding disbelievers and doubting Islam, adding: “Taking the disbelievers as friends is one of the categories of mischief on the earth.”

Quran 3:28 states: “Let not the believers take disbelievers for their friends in preference to believers. Whoso doeth that hath no connection with Allah unless (it be) that ye but guard yourselves against them, taking (as it were) security.” The Tafsir by Ibn Abbas clarifies this as allowing outward friendliness while inwardly disliking them, to save oneself. Ibn Kathir’s Tafsir adds: “Believers are allowed to show friendship to the disbelievers outwardly, but never inwardly,” citing examples like smiling while cursing in one’s heart, and noting that “Tuqyah (lying) is allowed until the Day of Resurrection.”

This introduces taqiyya—deception toward non-believers—which critics see as hypocritical. Why command enmity but permit fake friendliness? It suggests a strategic approach to interactions, prioritizing self-preservation over genuine harmony. Fatwa 178354 from Islam Q&A reiterates: “Friendship can only be among the believers and enmity is to be between them and the kaafirs.”

Such teachings undermine trust in interfaith dialogues. If Muslims are doctrinally bound to view disbelievers with enmity, how can true friendships form? This fosters a segregated worldview, where non-Muslims are perpetual outsiders, potentially justifying discrimination.

Targeting Jews and Christians: Explicit Religious Bigotry

The prohibitions intensify when addressing Jews and Christians, revealing an undercurrent of antisemitism and anti-Christian sentiment.

Quran 5:51 commands: “Take not the Jews and the Christians for friends. They are friends one to another. He among you who taketh them for friends is (one) of them. Lo! Allah guideth not wrongdoing folk.” Ibn Abbas’s Tafsir explains this as forbidding assistance to them, as they are allies to each other in secret and open. Ibn Kathir’s Tafsir labels them “enemies of Islam and its people,” cursing them and warning that befriending them makes one “one of them.”

Quran 4:144-145 adds: “O you who believe! Do not take the unbelievers for friends rather than the believers; do you desire that you should give to Allah a manifest proof against yourselves? Surely the hypocrites are in the lowest stage of the fire and you shall not find a helper for them.” Ibn Kathir’s Tafsir prohibits being friends, associates, or advisors to disbelievers, exposing Muslim secrets to them.

Quran 5:81 states: “If they believed in Allah and the Prophet and that which is revealed unto him, they would not choose them (the disbelievers) for their friends.” Ibn Kathir’s Tafsir on 5:5 encourages not befriending non-believers and associating only with pious Muslims.

Even social etiquette reflects this: Tirmidhi 1602 (graded Sahih) instructs: “Do not precede the Jews and the Christians with the Salam (hello). And if one of you meets one of them in the Path, then force him to its narrow portion.” Scholars explain this as disliking to honor them, as Muslims are ordered to humiliate non-believers.

This explicit targeting is politically incorrect but substantiated: It promotes religious supremacy, viewing Jews and Christians as inherently untrustworthy allies. In today’s context, such verses fuel interfaith tensions and justify exclusionary attitudes, clashing with principles of equality and freedom of association.

Family Ties: Religion Over Blood Relations

Perhaps most disturbingly, these teachings extend to family, demanding that Muslims sever ties with disbelieving relatives.

Quran 9:23 commands: “Choose not your fathers nor your brethren for friends if they take pleasure in disbelief. Whoso of you taketh them for friends, such are wrong-doers.” Ibn Kathir’s Tafsir prohibits taking idolators as supporters, even relatives, if they choose disbelief over faith. Jalalayn’s Tafsir notes this was revealed about those who hesitated to emigrate due to family, calling such bonds evil if they prefer disbelief.

Quran 58:22 reinforces: “You (O Muhammad) will not find any people who believe in Allah and the Last Day, making friendship with those who oppose Allah and His Messenger, even though they were their fathers or their sons or their brothers or their kindred (people).”

Quran 4:135 demands justice even against parents or kin: “Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even though it be against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin… So follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you avoid justice.”

Hadith Ibn Majah 2540 states: “Carry out the legal punishments on relatives and strangers, and do not let the fear of blame stop you from carrying out the command of Allah.”

Critically, this doctrine tears families apart. By prioritizing faith over blood, Islam justifies abandoning or punishing relatives who disbelieve, echoing cult-like control. In modern societies, where family is a cornerstone of support, this promotes emotional alienation and could enable honor-based violence, all under the guise of divine command.

Conclusion: A Doctrine of Division in a Pluralistic World

Islamic texts, from the Quran to Hadiths and fatwas, paint a clear picture: Disbelievers cannot be true friends or integrated family members without compromising one’s faith. This framework of mandated love for believers and hate for others, coupled with allowances for deception and humiliation, reveals a religion that prioritizes ideological purity over human connections. While apologists might claim context or misinterpretation, the sources speak for themselves—promoting enmity that clashes with contemporary values of tolerance and unity.

In a globalized era, such teachings hinder integration and fuel extremism. True reform would require confronting these verses, not excusing them. Until then, Islam’s stance on disbelievers remains a barrier to genuine peace.